I did not know the quality of customer service has declined to the point where we, as customers, are faced with discourteous and forceful representatives. What kind of world do we live in? This must stop now.

This thought registered in my mind as I was stepping away from the cashier at a restaurant. It came after this rude, four-word sentence:

“Have a good day.”

Call me crazy, but that’s just insulting.

Why? I can think of three reasons:

First, she was commanding me to do something. I am no puppet. I do not have strings attached to my joints that can move around to the likes of a puppeteer. And if there’s one thing a customer doesn’t like to hear, it is being forced to do something without qualification or reason.

Second, not only did she coerce me, she was calling me to act on something that is not entirely under my control. My day does not go from bad to good on a whim. Oftentimes it is affected (or dictated) by external factors like work, traffic, food, sleep, hairdo, bowel movements, etc. By telling my day to be a certain condition, she was basically implying the impossible. I don’t do impossible. I am not Ethan Hunt.

Lastly (and I find this reason the most insulting), why “good”? I doubt she implied having a morally triumphant day. It’s not like purchasing a burrito swings the tide from evil to good, as if it’s for all the marbles in a spiritual warfare. If giving blessings was the purpose (and I imagine it was), why not wish me the best day? Why not an once-in-a-lifetime kind of day? Throwing in that superlative makes that wish sound so much better. No, no… it makes it the best.

Let me share with you how I would wish someone a certain kind of day:

Insofar as you can help it, please have the best day ever in the history of man because it is better to have this kind of day than any other kind of day. Please try to make it a day that all future generations will look upon with admiration and envy. Let them make monuments and holidays in commemoration of this day. Let even those who have passed on tremble in their graves at the magnitude of your day. Insofar as you can help it, please.

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